“A Picture of Spirituality in Youth Living with Bipolar Disorder.” Research by Dr. Michelle Solomon at Western University, Canada. The purpose of this study was to learn how youth ages 18-30 living with bipolar disorder described their understanding of and experiences of spirituality; to better support their spiritual needs and promote their mental health. You can access Michelle’s thesis here: https://ir.lib.uwo.ca/etd/9865/
A Picture of Spirituality in Youth Living with Bipolar Disorder
Dedication
To the participants of this research study: Yvaine, Frances, Jennica, Nicole, Lucio, Siobhan, and August (these are pseudonyms to protect their privacy). Thank you for inviting me into your lives and sharing the most sacred aspects of it for the goals of this research. I am thankful our paths crossed and we were able to experience this journey together. May you continue to find peace and balance by honouring all parts of yourselves.
Michelle Solomon
Content Warning
Some of the content in this exhibit addresses traumatic experiences such as suicide, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), and difficult emotions. Please take care!
“My sense of spirituality is entwined with a sense of connectedness between myself and the people around me. Upon seeing this rainbow, everyone in the area all felt compelled to stop what we were doing and take in the sight. In this moment, I felt a deep sense of interconnectedness between the people and the universe providing us with this moment of connection.” (Siobhan)
“The water in this photo will continue to flow long after we’re gone, emphasizing the small but ever-important part each of us plays in preserving the natural resources we’ve been given. I was also able to get this close to such a vast body of water while I was with my family, a fact that forever binds my experience of this spiritual moment to my experience of home and familial connection.” (Siobhan)
“This photo demonstrates the recycling of nature and matter; in the sense that we can observe the leaves living and then eventually degrading on the ground to continue to sustain life.” (Lucio)
“I chose this photo specifically, because music and reading are two things that help keep me very grounded… You’re hearing stories, you’re reading stories that aren’t your own, that may not relate to, they might relate to… But it just lets me kind of be in the moment and connect it back to my real life and kind of go from there.” (Jennica)
“Growing up, my favourite books were the poetry collections of Shel Silverstein. I reread ‘Where the Sidewalk Ends’, in particular, dozens of times; Silverstein’s work encapsulates whimsical nonsense that has become foundational in my mind, and every time I see a ‘Sidewalk Ends’ road sign, I can’t help but feel innately pulled to acknowledge the ends of the road. However, I’m also struck by its fallacy: sidewalks don’t end, they just turn into something else and continue later–they transform before us, and I imagine the soul is similar, where someone’s life never truly ends but merely transforms from this world to another.” (August)
“Pantheism is frequently associated with spirituality. In order to foster a sense of unity with the divine and to establish a connection with the greater, universal consciousness, pantheists may partake in practices like meditation, nature walks, or yoga. Instead of viewing the divine as a distinct, external creature, pantheism presents a spiritual viewpoint that sees the divine as existing within everything. Pantheism is the belief that there is an all-encompassing god around us, and I think that this image can illustrate that, including the sunset and the nature. God is everywhere, and everything is likely predetermined, even our daily actions.” (Lucio)
“This was a gift I got after a grandmother figure passed on. I know she’s assuring me I’m going to be a mother one day. I have concerns I won’t because of my illness and medications.” (Frances)
“This ant appears insignificant from our perspective, but when we zoom in to its perspective, we recognize that it contributes to a system that achieves something bigger than itself. Similarly, while a human life feels insignificant in the grand scheme of our universe, we still find ways to obtain meaning, foster interconnection, and contribute to causes bigger than ourselves. To me, spirituality means recognizing that life holds meaning, value, and purpose at every scale, and contributing to something bigger than us from whichever position we hold in our universe – large or small.” (Nicole)
“I used to be a very analytical person and believed that all things in the world could be logically quantified. Then, when I was a teenager, my 4-month-old nephew passed away from SIDS, and I understood that there are things in the world which are truly random, cruel, but nevertheless devastating. Since then, when the world is too overwhelming and I’m overcome with existential dread, I take a moment to look up at the sky, reminding myself that although I am a small subject to the terrifying universe, my existence shapes the universes of those who love me, and my one life will forever have meaning for them.” (August)
“This is a picture of the spot I watched a man die, against a tall bank building in the downtown core on a winter morning. I still feel his weight when I walk past this spot, and I grieve his loss at the hands of cold, careless capitalism. When my heart is heavy with these things, I hum this quote by Emily Dickinson in my mind: ‘Hope is the thing with feathers / That perches in the soul / And sings the tune without the words / And never stops – at all.’” (August)
“I’m constantly looking back at what happened in the past and what I can change and what I regret or whatever. When really, I should just be looking forward more…I’m looking forward, but I’m also taking everything from my past and bringing it with me… I wouldn’t be here without it. But just kind of spending more time looking forward.” (Jennica)
“When I feel lost or when I’m going through changes I use my tarot cards. I believe they tell me what I am meant to know in that moment. It eases my confusion and helps me to direct my behaviours moving forward. It reminds me that there is something else out there in a way that makes me feel less alone.” (Yvaine)
“These lyrics from the song ‘American Teenager’ by Ethel Cain reflect my day-to-day experience of spirituality. I grew up in a religious household. Though as an adult I have forged my own path toward an individual relationship with a higher power, independent of a specific religious affiliation. This song reminds me that there are people who are going through what I go through and are able to turn that internal strife into incredible art, and that I am never truly alone in my feelings.” (Siobhan)
“I experience spirituality day to day by trying to find the path I am meant to go down, regardless of whether it is a popular path. It has never been important to me whether my life looks like everyone else’s or whether I end up in the same place as my peers, so long as I feel like I am living a life that is authentic to myself and my larger sense of purpose. When I come to crossroads that require me to take the path less travelled and I am unsure about where it will take me, I call on my faith in God, the universe, and myself that I will make it out okay.” (Nicole)
“My mood can vary a lot throughout the day/different times, and I go through a lot of extremes. This can impact how I feel about big themes.
I believe that once again, that ties back into the transition between leaves existing on the trees and then eventually falling onto the ground.” (Lucio)
“I almost jumped. And this memory haunts me. But I knew what suicide does to the soul so I got on the next train home. Suicide changes your reincarnation path, it requires you to come back at a lower vibration.” (Frances)
“And watermelon, surprisingly, this surprised a lot of people growing up, was my favourite food. And no one understood that… I spent so much time not liking who I was and not being able to connect with myself because I constantly felt like I was in a body I shouldn’t be in, a body that people didn’t like…So it went from just kind of having an unhealthy relationship with food and eating it all the time. And then it went to, I only wanted to eat healthy food…calories were bad… it relates to my mood, because my mood for so long was attached to the food that I ate. And how that food would make my body look. And I think it connects to my spirituality because now I have a deeper understanding of who I am… If I want to have a slice of pizza, I’ll have a slice of pizza. If I want to have watermelon, I’ll have watermelon. It doesn’t matter.” (Jennica)
“For me spirituality can be as simple as finding balance between myself and the outside world. Our perspective is often clouded by our beliefs and memories. So, in my life I try to check my perspective by remembering what is truly important to me.” (Yvaine)
“I take a different path of spirituality depending on my mental state because different states require a different focus. I often think about the poem “The Road Not Taken” (Robert Frost) and how important it is to me that I don’t follow conventions. I follow the path that is right for me, not the one most travelled and I believe that does make all the difference.” (Yvaine)
“There have been many times where my mood feels as chaotic and unpredictable as the colours and shapes displayed in this graffiti. However, amidst the chaos, the lettering “blessed be self” stands out clearly as a message with infinite interpretations. In my interpretation, it directs me to channel the chaos of my fluctuating mood into a message of inherent self-worth.” (Siobhan)
“My mood relates to my spirituality in the way it impacts my perspective of my life’s narrative, and in turn, its meaning and purpose. When I am depressed, I believe that my life is a tragic cautionary tale, whereas when I’m hypomanic, I’m convinced that it’s a tale of victory and heroism, and that there is nothing more to learn. Really, my story, like everyone’s, is a beautiful, dynamic coming-of-age story: I’m constantly coming up against obstacles, stumbling my way through them, and coming out the other side, not unscathed but still better off for the experience.” (Nicole)
Conclusion
Through photovoice research, we learned that spirituality is a deeply personal phenomenon involving the five themes that were created; and that treatment for bipolar disorder could be supported in all of the ways in which spirituality was understood and experienced.
Copyright
The photos and captions on this page belong to the participants of this research study and are subject to copyright.